Disclaimer: This is not to make fun of my students, who are working very hard to learn English as a second langauge. English is an extremely difficult language to learn from Chinese– different alphabet, crazy rules of grammar, deceiving spellings, etc. My students have learned English for 6+ years, and this is the fruition of their labors. There’s no way that I, or (probably) you, could do this in Chinese! So, as I said, I am not making fun or calling them stupid, it’s just that sometimes these mistakes can be amusing to us native speakers. Plus, Chinese people laugh at my mistakes in Chinese all the time!

St. Valentine’s Day Test

So I gave my students a passage to read for a homework assignment and I told them that we would have a test over this passage the next week. The passage was about St. Valentine, the man, and was taken from their assigned text book. Here is the passage, followed by my test, along with some of the misguided answers they provided.

The Story of Saint Valentine

He lived in Rome druing the third century. At that time, Rome was ruled by an emperor named Claudius. Emperor Claudius was never a favorite of the people of Rome and also Saint Valentine. Cluadius wanted to have a big army. He expected men to volunteer to join. Many men just did not want to fight in wars. They did not want to leave their wives and families. Not many men joined up. This made Claudius furious. Claudius had a crazy idea. He thought that if men were not married, they would not mind joining the army. So Claudius decided not to allow any more marriages. Young people thought this new law was cruel. Saint Valentine being a Priest [sic], his favorite activity was to marry couples. Even after Emperor Claudius passed his law, he kept on performing marriage ceremonies secretly. They would whisper the words of the ceremony, listening all the while for the steps of soldiers. One night, while performing the wedding ceremony. [sic] St. Valentine heard the sound of the steps of soldiers. He made the marrying couple run in time but himself was caught. He was thrown in jail and told that his punishment was death. While in prison he tried to stay cheerful and many young people came to the jail to visit him. They gave him flowers to show that they, too, believed in love. One of these young people was the daughter of the prison guard. Her father allowed her to visit him in the cell. At times they would sit and talk for hours. On the day he was to die, he left his friend a little note thanking her for her friendship and loyalty. He signed it, “Love from your Valentine.” It is believed that this note started the custom of exchanging love messages on Valentine’s Day. It was written on February 14, 269 A.D., the day St. Valentine died. Now, every year on this day, people think about love and friendship.

TEST:

1) When did this story take place?

  • it happened in AD 4 category.
  • It was taken about the 3th sentry.
  • Febray 14, 246 AD.
  • Val Time’s Day
  • 100 AD ago.
  • The story was take place in threed Centry.
  • In Rome.
  • Rome.
  • England.
  • A.D.
  • Roman three centuries.
  • Longlong ago
  • In RoamTime.
  • This story take place in Feb. 15
  • ancient Roman feast of Lupercalia [they also read a story a few weeks ago about this]
  • 13 BC
  • The story take place in 1.
  • This story take place in Room.
  • This story take place 19 centry.

2) Who was Claudius?

  • He is a persdent.
  • The king allow the unlove law.
  • Nevar a favorite of a people.
  • Claudius is a solider.
  • He is army.
  • The person who saves the other people and leave himself.
  • a father
  • the honest of this story
  • We think he is badman.
  • Claudius is the perioud of Rome.
  • The emperor Claudius was England.
  • He’s a fumel who’s people think he signed love. [what?]
  • girl’s boy friend
  • Claudius was Saint Valentine. [this is a pretty deep, insightful answer]
  • He was an empior.
  • He is a prise who like to marriage couples.
  • He was a saint and join in arm
  • the kind
  • a stain valentain
  • Claudius is an expert in bring in the war.
  • claudius is a kind man.

3) What did Claudius make illegal? Why?

  • Not many man want to join up the army. they didn’t want to leave their families. so he thought his idea.
  • People don’t want to join in the army because he is angry/furious.
  • Wedding. It makes so much couples and too many people.
  • army.
  • He want a big army need many solder.
  • Because he think the illegal is can help people.
  • His wife dead He sad for his dead wife so.
  • He has a crazy idea. and made the person who didn’t marry and then join the arm. Because he wanted his arm to becoming big.
  • give a chance for young man
  • He fall love with the girl whom he shouldn’t love
  • He dien’t let legal lovers together. I think the lovers have the right to merry.
  • Claudius make illegal is wrong punishment with a girl.
  • didn’t married. he not want to leave hs lover and family.
  • Love make Claudius illegal
  • Because. he break up the peoples’ rights. Marriajed is more important for a man or woman.
  • War makes claudius illegal. Because he doesn’t have sollders, he need lots of young men.
  • He was to be a persit and married one cuples.

4) What was Valentine’s punishment?

  • His punishment was died.
  • DEAD!
  • The Valentine’s punishment is he was death.
  • To Help the gay who are fell in love. [???]
  • His punishment was no man can merried.
  • Thanking her friendship and loyalty.
  • His pushment was. Not allow any marriage.
  • The prison guard’s daught went to see him. [HAHA]
  • Punish who only get not give.
  • He must to became a army.
  • young man
  • Two lover were killed.
  • not let the lovers meet. date and mary.
  • Valentines punished to dead.
  • man will buy a rose for his sweetheart [oh, the agony!]
  • let people dead
  • the army put someone in prison. the he kill them.
  • The Valeninte’s punishment was join in arm
  • He signes love from your Palestine.
  • He make the marring people run.
  • In Valentine’s day. boy will give his girlfriend flowers. the flowers are rose.
  • They will be accident to dead.
  • Valentine’s punishment the hearts, flowers, love birds and coupile.
  • Death. (be killed) [glad he clarified that…]
  • flowers. was valentines punishment.

5) Why do people pass love notes on Valentine’s Day?

  • He let them belive Love and fendship.
  • Becaue people believe in LOVE.
  • Because there is a custom of passing Love message note on Valtine’s Day to moan the Emperor of Rome.
  • Because Valentine thought Love was the hope of marriage.
  • Because he was death and people want to remember him.
  • Because he was dead on that day and people want to think him.
  • Because the will to passing love continue in Valentine’s Day.
  • Because people think St. Valentines can impove the Love and friendship.
  • In horror of Valentine. He’s Love is very True.
  • For memorizing the person who organized their marry.
  • Because Stain Valtime left a note to exchange his love to the daughter of the prison guard.
  • I think it is a way to miss Claudines.
  • people give love for a prison
  • the lover boyfriend will present the rose to girlfriend. And they will present each other, too.
  • Because is a mentoh signed love, they can write anything about love in the note.
  • Because this day has a girl because of love to die.
  • To remember Claudius and his lover
  • Because peope was dead on that day of passing love.
  • Because people admire so a person who is a love and friendly man. It shows their love and friendly on valentine’s Day.
  • Because he must to write his love to a girl on the notes. Then the girl know him.
  • In order to celebrated claudius’s action.
  • Because. One person was dead in that day. he was very want to look his wife in that time.
  • It’s the day of Stain Valentine’s death.
  • Because the valentine was the flavour of love. [Flava Flave would be proud]
  • Because some people to buy a lots of prenest.
  • Because Valentine passed the rule.
  • Because Love is great!
  • The jirls wirite the slips and put them to jars. If the men pick up one of them, she will be the sweat-heat of him. [hehe]

6) What day is Valentine’s Day?

  • Jer 14st
  • 2. Febary. 269 AD
  • 14 Rebrary
  • Feb. 24th is Valet’s Day.
  • February 14, 1962.

Pets Speech

I taught my students how to write a persuasive speech today. After working through a few persuasive speeches, I asked them to write a speech on the topic “Should People Own Pets?”. I really loved this one… very persuasive against owning pets.

Should people own pets?

People own pets become a very common. Some people love pets very much, and they spend more attention on them. But in my opinion. I don’t want to own pets.

The reson why I don’t like pets. Firstly, they are very dirty we are easy to get ill from the virus in the body. If you hold a dog in your family. They bark everyday, disturbing my neighbour. normal life. Secondly, we have to spend much time and money on them. We buy food and clean their bodies. Finally. They left the shit everywhere.

But every couns have two sides. The pets are very lovely. And when you are lonely they will accompany with you, it will make your life colorfully.

In conclusion, I don’t like to own pets. It’s dirty, noisty, and harmful for people’s health.

English Names

I asked my students to choose an English name, write it down for me, and also add an explanation. Here are some of the names I rececived and their explanations.

  • “English name: color”
  • “English name: snow”
  • “My English name: baby”
  • “name: English name: Ailly”
  • “I’m English name is water”
  • “English name: Tona
    Reason: I like this sound”
  • “English name: Air”
  • “I have made me an English name called Mikarl. Hearing it, you may think of the famous basketball player. Mikarl Jodan. Yes. he is my favorite basketball player, and every time looking him playing on the basketball play ground. I will be driven crazy by his excellent skills. So as a fan of basketball I made me the name and hope one day I can be like him.”
  • “English name: spring”
  • “Chose on English name: rabbit”
  • “English name: Blue
    Because I like this colour”
  • “snoopy”
  • “my English name is ‘music.’ I like it very much. I hope you would like it too. It was named by my brother.”
  • “My English name, Maggie. Because I hope I will have a Maggie life.”
  • “Jemima
    meaning ‘Dove’”
  • “My English name: Chanson
    This is a French song name. Although I don’t know it’s meaning. I am very like this.”
  • “English: zero
    Because I think everything must from zero begin”
  • “English name: Bon Jovi”
  • “Choose an English name: Ibtesam
    I choose this English name IBTESAM meaning ’smiling’ Becaue I think everyone all smiling everything. Consider things from every angle. Smiling is a play an important role in everyone. When you lose heart. You must smiling. Ibtesam stand for believe in yourself And don’t give up and don’t give in. I feel like Smiling make it happen and Xcelerating you efforts. I like choose English name!”
  • “English name: Ice”
  • “English name: Katy
    Why? : Because I like the “k” and “y” “
  • “English name:
    JE MAPPELLE HELENE
    It comes from a beautiful song
    I’m very love it”
  • “English name Laven
    It’s from “Lave” and “owen” (football star’s name)”
  • “For my English name: Free
    The Reason: I like free”
  • “English name: Zero”
  • “English name: Elves
    Why? I want to be a Elves”
  • “English name: Hmily.
    Why? How much I long you.”
  • “English name: Anna
    It calls fluently.”
  • “English name: WaxWing”
  • “English name: Swallow
    Why: Because”
  • “My English name is MikeJackshion”
  • “My English name Fifteen”
  • “English name is Irice”
  • “My English name: Meray”
  • “My English mane: KaKa”
  • “English name: Leaf”
  • “My English name is Mango”
  • “My English name: sherchenko”
  • “My English name is Adolf Hitler” [No explanation given]
  • “English name: Zhenne”
  • “I have an English name. The name is Angle”
  • “English: tarry”
  • “My English name: dreambolt”
  • “My English name is Agatha
    It stands for good well and nearly which can reduce the distance of two people”
  • “English name: Slice
    Because it sounds well. when people heard this name it can give peaople a nearly feels”
  • “English name: Lemon
    the reason of my English name: Because I like lemon juice very much. All the things about lemon. I do love them.”
  • “English name: Karen
    reason: I know “Karen” means to pure, clean and honest and it sounds very well. The other reason, Korea is one of the most beautiful countries in the world. I love it very much. I want to make my name begin with “K” so choose Karen”
  • “English name: Seven. My favorite number is Seven”
  • “English name: KX”
  • “My English name: This is a difficult question. called: Autumn Dance”
  • “My English name: Allbe”
  • “English name: Hanner”